Arushi Dutt

            I think I was a pretty cute baby to be honest. This is one of my favorite childhood pictures, because I feel I look extremely innocent and self-conscious. Even though I was so young, this pretty much sums up my personality even as a young adult today. I remember I was always concerned about being comfortable in the way I dress, as that made a huge difference in my personality. I was forced to wear that sweater that I was not comfortable, or happy with (as you can probably tell with the picture). So, as soon as the photographer asked me to smile, I immediately froze, and just gave that wide-eyed serious face. I used to make this face as sort of a defense mechanism. Whenever I was put in difficult or uncomfortable situations, this was the face I made. To an extent, I think we all have that face, in which you put your guard up against the whole world. For me, it started at a very young age.

            As I grew older, I gained a lot of exposure. I’ve always been a cheerful kind of person, trying to look at the positive in almost everything. But the key word here is TRYING. I’ve had to deal with a lot of changes and difficulties moving from one place to another, finding new friends, and basically fitting in wherever I’ve gone. So that doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m constantly happy. I just appear that way. What’s the point of complaining and sharing your problems though? I mean, everyone has their own problems to deal with, so might as well just suck it up and put a smile on that face.

            So, this is where the second picture comes in. As I grew older, I gained a way to pretty much hide my insecurities or vulnerabilities, and that was through a smile. This particular picture was taken during a day in which I basically had to run an entire event for my college club. I was extremely happy of the successful outcome, and was smiling on the outside. However, it just appears that way. This was also the day after a very bad fight with a close friend of mine. This was the day I was meeting this friend for the very first time after that fight, because he was also a part of the club. I was smiling on the outside, but was extremely hurt on the inside. The photographer just happened to get the click of me smiling wide, or rather posing, as a billion mixed emotions ran through me on the inside.

            Thinking too much is also part of what makes me, me. I tend to analyze and over analyze certain instances, and drive myself crazy. It’s something I’m trying hard to work on. This particular fight with my friend had torn me up inside. I mean who really enjoys fights with close friends? This was the day that we couldn’t’ get ourselves to talk or even make eye contact with each other. But, for the sake of the club, we both had to suck up our egoes, and work together to make the event work. We politely smiled, cracked fake jokes, and made minimal conversations to run through those two torturous hours. Finally, when the day ended, I ran out of there as soon as I could, and just analyzed the entire day. Later on, I received several messages from my teammates and other members about how well we had organized the event. They all just assumed that I had been equally as ecstatic about the success. Yet, it was just that smile which fooled them all.

            Speaking of success, I’m kind of obsessed with it too. I work extremely hard (perhaps a bit of a biased outlook), and want to do well in life. When I was young, I wanted to become a teacher so badly that I would set up my room with stuffed animals and teach them with a wooden ruler in my hands. Then, as a teenager, I gained a bit of an interest in science, and suddenly realized that I actually wanted to become a veterinarian. I basically just had a love for animals that I thought treating them would be the perfect profession for me. That was before I visited a veterinary hospital, and witnessed a grotesque cat surgery right in front of my eyes for a science project. Ever since that day, I have not stepped foot in a veterinary hospital. So, then when I hit high school, I came to the realization that I really enjoy studying and interacting with people. After all that moving around, I thought psychology would be perfect for me. That eventually molded into communication studies, and later journalism.

             Ten years from now, I want to see myself hosting my very own talk show, preferably a travel talk show called: ‘Arushi’s Adventures,’ or maybe something less cheesier. I’ve just dreamt of roaming through foreign cities and towns, munching on exotic snacks, and interacting with the locals, like Samantha Brown! So the third picture isn’t exactly a talk show, but it pretty much sums up this dream. This was taken during an internship, in which News X interviewed me.

            I discovered my zeal for media when I moved back to India after several years abroad. I realized this was something I was good at, not only because I had always craved the spotlight, but also because this gave me a shot to reach out to people. For someone like me who absolutely loves meeting people, this field allows me to do just that in an influential manner. Through a talk show, perhaps I can get the right platform to learn about the world and its people. I hope to make a change, even the smallest change, through this platform. I dream to be in front of the cameras one day, and becoming the voice of change and learning.

            This is Arushi Dutt. This is me.