Childhood picture
I choose this particular picture because it’s candid and really captures a true emotion. Most of us as kid were fascinated by mom’s make-up and jewelry and I always tried on all her new lipsticks and sandals. I remember I had insisted that my mom give me all her bangles because I wanted to wear them. She gave me her entire bangle box and I wore the select few I liked the best and was further happier when she clicked my picture. I was always a stubborn kid and that is something that I still carry on from my childhood but I feel that I have also left a lot behind. As a kid I loved spending time in front of the mirror and dressing up with matching jewelry while now I rarely look in the mirror. When I looked at this picture it made me wonder what happened to that part of me and whether I would ever be able to bring it back.
Self- portrait
Confused, raw, scribbled and incomplete is what I feel I am right now. There are so many gaps to be filled, so much to learn and so much I don’t know about myself. I chose this picture because I still feel I have just explored half of me and there is a lot left to be explored. It’s a rough draft, a pencil sketch that lacks its final touches. I see a hope and ground for improvement in me through this picture and that is how I intend to approach experiences to discover more of the world and me. I want to push myself to get out of my comfort zone to see how much of me I can understand and get to know.
Future
I read ‘The Bell Jar’ by Sylvia Plath a few months ago and this particular dialogue struck me the most in the entire book. As a kid I wanted to be an underwater swimmer so I learned swimming but failed so I thought I’d be a teacher. Over the years I had wanted to be a million things in a million ways. I could relate to the line in the book because even today I want to be everything an Ad film maker, a camera person, a criminal psychologist, a book shop owner, a travel journalist and the list just goes on. I chose amalgamate the line and the picture to create a feeling of uncertainty and multiplicity. I don’t want to restrict myself right now by aiming for a single life goal in ten years but rather keep myself open to all the opportunities I get to experience different things. Even if I do end up doing one particular profession 10 years down the line I would like to give my personality multiple tangents so that the work I do isn't polar in its approach.
4 comments:
Tejasvi:
Very good! I particularly liked the self-portrait. Can you carry it to class on monday next? The sketch is faithful to what you have written describing how you feel now. This is/was one way of expressing it. How else could it be - the visual expression of the feeling of confusion, or incompleteness? And lastly, what do you mean by, "so that the work I do isn't polar in its approach."
A - Ajay
Hello Sir,
Sorry I saw this comment late. Thank you for your kind words. When thought about my self-portrait I saw everything I did in fragments, nothing complete. So maybe another way of expressing it would be something that is a blur or fragments of a picture all puzzled up. I thought of these ideas and tried executed them but chose this particular picture because it came closet to what I wanted to express.
To answer to your question about my statement, I want to gain knowledge on things that may not be directly related to my profession. So in a way they add to what I am doing because I would bring in that perspective to my work. We had a lecture by Kalpana Sharma and she told us how every story is a women's story for her as a journalist because she brought in that perspective with her. I would like to explore as many sides to a particular piece of work rather than just being clinical in its approach. And hence not being polar or blinded in my approach. I hope this answers your question.
Tejasvi:
That's good to hear that you tried out different approaches before finalising on this one. Yes,I look forward to seeing more of your work where you have explored every possible aspect and present them all.
- Ajay
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