Since the time I remember I have loved stories and I have
been a person who has been lost in her own imagination, dream world. I still
remember waking my grandmother up just so I could hear one more story and dream
about it, yea I used to believe the last thing you hear about is what you dream
about. I loved hearing stories, the way both my grandmothers used to narrate
them always kept me completely enchanted. Over the period of time I have changed
as a person, have learned some harsh lessons, have started hiding myself behind
the veils of toughness and so on and so forth but I have always, always been
curious to hear more stories, life has become extremely hectic and somewhere I feel
I have lost who I really was. I am not even going to read as to what I am
writing in this post because I don’t want to correct it, I don’t want to change
I want to write whatever is coming to my mind. It’s liberating to be able to do
that.
The reason I chose the first picture; that is of my
childhood is because I still remember that day when I was taken in a studio by
my parents to get some of my photographs clicked and in the middle of all the
posing and all the changing of clothes I saw this big vase besides which they
were going to make me stand and pose and all I wanted was to get inside
of it, I don’t quite remember if this what I was thinking but I think I was fascinated
by the thought of appearing as if I live inside it and so I got in and waved at
my awed audience!!! As I said I never was normal in my thoughts I had a dream
world and a weird imagination.
The second picture of the present me, I have chosen because that’s
what I was doing at the time, I was reading a book I like reading books but
again it really depends upon my mood, people say read books and yes one must
but I have these phases where I want to read a particular kind of story because
my brain world at that time is like that particular mood, I want to try and fit
the books story in to it. Also I chose this picture is because I feel it’s
poetic,there is a rhythm and a moment captured so beautifully with the
way the light is falling and the white dress, and I really want my life to be a
moment captured and witness by at least
a few dear ones. I feel I am in the phase where I m getting nurtured and
ready for the big future as they call it. And there is a side of me that this
picture has got bang on.
The third picture is of what I wish to be in ten years, and
it says it all I want to be a happy and comfortable in my skin and I want to
write and I want to tell stories and be independent of my own demons. I want to
be free of unnecessary stress, figure out ways to keep my clam but what I don’t
want to be is a woman who ties her hair up and becomes extremely stiff. I don’t
think that you ever need to became boring for people to believe you are a grown
up, you can still dance like an idiot, laugh like you have lost it and be
curious all your life there is nothing wrong with it and that’s the kind of
person I want to be. Most people I meet do not think the way I do, or
understand the things I want to say all I got to learn is to put forth my
thoughts without becoming the person people expect me to be.
Someday I want to be able to tell a story so damn well that
it will become an exuberating moment of someone’s life
2 comments:
Hey,
I admire your weird imagination and I see were it stems from in the 1 st picture and hence I like it the most. The 2nd pic indeed is poetic and the light falling on your beautiful curls accentuates them.
Srishti:
Cheers! for getting your self-portrait "bang on". Very composed and almost perfect. What would it take to get you out of your comfort zone? What would that look like? want to try?
I enjoyed reading this post because it gave me an insight into you in an "exuberating" way :) Damn what people might say of whether they understand you. I want you to push you own limits here without any fear.
- Ajay
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