Brenna Ribeiro

“You’re a moron, a loser, a good for nothing. You don’t like what you were doing, you don’t know what you want to do. X has got a high paying job, Y has moved to the US, Z has a display pic with Hrithik and you don’t even have a job now”, the voices in my head kept screaming. Nothing seemed to be working and my self-esteem had hit rock bottom.

I took the first job that came my way without much thought. The work was neither exciting nor challenging but there was something about the place.

A chef whose career was ruined due to injury, a homemaker who wanted to pay off the family loan, people who left their studies incomplete to support their family, a writer and a dancer who couldn't follow their dreams due to pressures – they were all there. They joked and laughed about everything be it deadlines, targets, office politics, pathetic canteen food or personal problems. Suddenly my problems started appearing smaller.

You might be wondering why am going on and on about a certain phase of my life. This post was supposed to be about the three photos. There is a reason.

During a fun activity there, we were asked to get our childhood photos. In the photos I saw a girl who didn’t care what was happening around, who was around. It was just the camera and her poses. She loved being the centre of attention. I met a happy, confident, carefree Brenna whom I had forgotten. I started loving myself again. In this particular, it’s like I’m saying, “Even if you push me in a corner, I’ll still pop out.”

I took the second photo especially for this exercise. I put a lot of thought into how can a photo can say something about me. I tried out a few poses and asked my family members what it was communicating. Finally, I zeroed on this one. Hope the message is clear.

“Listening to my heart.” And there is no room for self-doubt in this phase of my life.

During the next ten years, I would love to have a caring husband and doting kids as new additions to my family. But I would get married only when and to whom I want to and not because I have to. Marriage or no marriage, I’m adopting a baby girl. This is a dream I saw when I was in Class 8.

I used to visit hospitals and orphanages as a part of a church group. And I wasn’t happy with the way they were handled and thought if I could do something for at least one of them it would be great.

That’s why I chose this as my third picture. There is one more addition to this picture- my professional life. I get very bored doing the same thing. During the next ten years, I would like to be a writer, a blogger, a creative head, a counselor, an activist, a teacher, a social entrepreneur and a director. It’s a long way to go and my heart says, “I’ll get there”.